But it doesn't work, "you get that I've never been with a guy before right? I'm not even sure what I am, I can't put that kind of uncertainty on him, it's not fair."
"You're right it's not, but love is never fair" "Who said anything about love?"
"Yeah Lin chill you're making it worse"
"Sorry but I'm just saying there's a lot to be uncertain about, but clearly you're sure of how you feel. Shouldn't that tell you something?"
Ryder nods knowing Lin has a point
"Ok so calm the fuck down, go fix your hair because it's a mess... and maybe change that shirt," Tamsin pats him on the back before walking away.
"What's wrong with my shirt?"
"Nothing" Lin shakes her head with a smile, "you got this!" She gives a thumbs up and walks away too.
Sitting in his desk chair spinning around Ryder tries not focusing on the time, but rather waiting for the second he hears the doorbell. After spending 5 minutes making himself look somewhat presentable he just has to wait now. With no real clue of what he'll say, Ryder hopes Shia will know where this is going and finally admit it before he does.
Stepping off the bus Shia walks towards Ryder's apartment unsure what this is even about, he just knew for sure something wasn't right, that phone call didn't feel normal.
Entering the building Shia climbs the stairs until he's on Ryder's floor, nervous but prepared for whatever Ryder had to tell him. Maybe it won't be bad— maybe it has nothing to do with them. Shia hopes this isn't Ryder deciding their vastly growing friendship was too much for him, and Ryder doesn't want to be around him anymore. If that's the case then he's not prepared to hear it
Unable to sit still Ryder walks out of his room heading towards Lin's door, as soon as he lifts his fist to knock, the doorbell goes off.
Immediately his heart stops and not even a second later Lin opens her bedroom door, "he's here!"
She smiles widely seeing Ryder just standing there
"Lin my fucking heart is pounding," Ryder tries to breathe "I know" she nods as he panics, "it's fine trust me."
"No it's not" Ryder shakes his head, "I don't know what I'm doing"
Walking from the kitchen as Tamsin opens her mouth to speak Shia rings the doorbell again, "Ryder just fucking fake it, ok?" She says turning him to walk towards the door, "as soon as you open that door don't even think, just say the first thing that pops up in your head."
Terrible idea but he decides to try it anyway
The girls tiptoe to the kitchen hiding to eavesdrop, and when Ryder thinks he's alone he reaches for the knob then pulls the door open.
All his worries wash away the minute he lays eyes on Ryder, Shia can't help but smile offering a simple "hey."
"Hi," Ryder's breath is caught in his throat
Noticing how quickly Ryder breaks their eye contact Shia's brows furrow and he asks, "you ok?" Ryder shakes his head, there's no way he can speak right now, everything in him wanted to come
out as a scream. H